Ticks

This is my first attempt at comedy on the Smithtown Bay Journal.
I have no respect for ticks. I'm not a big insect lover to begin with. In fact I hate most bugs, with the exception of crickets and praying mantis. I mean, even spiders are worthy of awe with their cool webs and all. At least they make an effort to capture their food in a creative way. They have some motivation. But the tick reminds me of someone of who refuses to get a job. Like that unemployed 30-something kid or house guest who is living in your basement. A tick can't even be bothered with actually moving! It waits for you to walk by and brush up against it. Like it's saying, "Hey, as long as your up, can you get me something to eat?" Even a mosquito puts in some work before it bites you. But not that lazy-ass tick. It just sits, latches onto you and then sucks on your hard-earned blood! Don't we all know someone like that? An ex boyfriend maybe? A relative? I tell ya, I got no respect for the tick.